Super Shopper

Last night I did some shopping for various kitchen and food needs. I started off by going to the local grocery store. As I was perusing I noticed some mustard on the shelf. I hadn't intended to buy mustard but remembered that I wanted to make a few things soon that would require it. I started looking at the selection which was literally a choice between two different containers of about the same size of the same brand. I soon discovered that the only real differences were that one was set to expire sooner and one was in a glass jar while the other was in a plastic squeeze bottle. Based on this, I chose the glass jar (jar is reusable!) because despite the fact that it was set to expire faster it was slightly cheaper. I got all the way through the store and checked out. On my way out of the store I glanced over the receipt and realized that they charged me an extra 18 taka (22 cents) for my mustard. I took it back and pointed this out to them. Just like the would in America they went and got the manager. He looked it all over before going to do a price check. He then returns to me and says, this was my mistake, the price should actually be what the system says it is. I point out that it quite clearly on the sticker says that it was 18 taka less. He just looks at me and says that the actual price is more. I then look at them and say, "here's your mustard, give me my money back." The cashier is obviously not excited about this and everyone else (yes there was a crowd of employees growing for this transaction) is chatting away about this exchange of events. They eventually after 20 minutes of transaction did give me my money back and me being less than excited by this whole process (in America if you admit that you made a mistake at a retail place you would probably just discount the item right?!) demanded that they return the tax money I paid them too. They mumbled about this a bit to themselves before doing some calculations and then giving it back to me. I walked out a bit annoyed with them over all of this as my culture would totally handle something like this completely different. Then on my way home I remembered suddenly that the local shop that sells natural, locally produced spices also sells mustard. I dropped by there and found it for 100 taka ($1.23) less than I would have paid in the store. I got more mustard (albeit runny mustard) in a glass bottle for way less from a salesman who was very nice. I felt like a complete idiot for not remembering this sooner and walked out of the store feeling like a champion for having saved so much money!

That set me up for next shopping adventure. I went to the bazaar looking for a stainless steel container to make yogurt in. The first couple of shops that I went to had nothing but thought maybe some shops further along might have what I was looking for. They were correct and I found just the right container for a reasonable price. I bought it and in the joy of my impending fresh homemade yogurt I started to head home. On my way home I saw a stand. The stand had the most delicious looking mangoes. I was drawn to it. I walked over and asked how much. He told me it was 100 taka/kg. Delicious looking mangoes for $1.23/2.2lbs! I was not to be drawn in quite that fast though. I saw the mango where he had been giving taste tests from and knowing that this is what it was for I asked for one. He whipped out his knife and started to cut me a slice when I heard the guys standing a few feet away having a conversation about me. They were talking about how I was like a Bengali. I got a chuckle out of this as I got my sample which turned out to be just as sweet as it looked. I got myself my kg of mangoes and went home to make my yogurt merrily reflecting on the exchanges of the evening.

I won out on a mustard price issue and received a much more awesome product. I got a stainless steel container for my yogurt making after not being at all sure that I would be able to find one. I got my first mangoes of the season. Most importantly, the crowd of people was comparing me to them rather than talking about how different I was. They always talk about how different you are or what strange thing you are doing. It is nice to feel included sometimes.

Survival and Love

One of the things I find interesting about living cross-culturally in Bangladesh is that every expat I know here faces a large amount of stress. The particularly interesting thing about that for me is how for each person it is a different combination of things that actually stresses them out. Having grown up my entire life in roughly the same area, I had never really experienced this on a grand scale before. I did run into it when I was in Botswana but that was too short of a trip and I was too young at the time to really understand it. To be honest, I'm quite sure I still don't understand it but I have figured out a few things in my years here. The most important thing I've learned is that it doesn't help at all for me to try to cram my issues onto others. By this I mean that if someone else isn't at all stressed by something I'm stressed by, I should not be trying to convince them they should be. It is perfectly fine and necessary to share what stresses you out with other people but you've got to accept that they have different triggers. The irony is that trying to convince someone that they must certainly feel a stress more than what they appear to since you feel it strongly actually causes greater stress to them. We are fearfully and wonderfully made in God's own image. I don't understand why God created me to feel frustrated and angry with some scenarios but not others anymore than I understand why God created my friends the way they are. I do understand that we are to love one another and part of that love is be there for one another. Surviving is something we do most efficiently as a group and I'm slowly learning to do my part.

Buns and Squirrels

I was reminded the other day that I haven't posted on here in awhile. Part of it was a lack of time but mostly it was a lack of feeling like I had anything interesting to say. Well, I finally came up with something worthwhile to say.

My mother is right. Her homemade hamburger bun recipe is pretty good. I had a chance to try it out yesterday and I was very pleased with the results even if it takes a lot of time to prepare.

I hope you weren't waiting in suspense for me to say something profound after all this time. Those who know me best probably know that I rarely come up with anything profound and when I do, even I can't predict when it is coming. As Mr. Clark used to say, "Even a blind squirrel gets a nut every once in awhile." Today this squirrel is starving yet again.

You've been starved, just take it!

As you may have noticed, I've been slipping on this blog lately. Honestly, part of it is just not knowing what to write anymore and part of it is prioritizing my attentions. I'm not going to explain any of that, excuses are like butt holes, everyone has one. Instead I'm just going to post some random stuff on life.

Bangladesh has gotten hot again. Very hot... I looked at the temperature gauge the other evening and at 9pm it said 87 degrees with 73% humidity. The bad news is that I have to live in that! One thing that is nice is that I now work in an office with air conditioning. I had my room's AC unit set for 83 degrees yesterday and it felt freezing cold. Part of the reason for this has to be that AC's are also dehumidifiers which really makes a huge difference here. One thing that isn't so great about working in my current office compared to the old one is that I can now tell the difference if I forget to put deodorant on. In the old office, I was working with a bunch of field workers who travel on public buses and don't have an AC office. I'm sure we all smelled but no one noticed. Now I have to manage my stinkiness.

Bicycle rides to visit Esther have also gotten a whole lot warmer. They have also shut down one of the roads that I ride on. I can't tell if it is because the Prime Minister's house is on that road or because they are trying to reroute traffic more efficiently but it is now frequently blocked off every night and at random times otherwise. This results in me having to ride an extra mile on every journey which gets pretty old when you're riding a bicycle that constantly falls apart. My chain alone came off twice last night on my way home. All these 6-7 mile rides have got me thinking very thoroughly about bicycles. I've looked into the possibility of upgrading my parts on my bicycle so that it is more reliable, bringing over my bicycle from America, and purchasing a new bike in Bangladesh. The upgrading of parts is probably the cheapest option and quickest. I've also heard that you can put your bike in a bike box and carry it with you on your flights as checked luggage so that is one thing I've considered for Christmas time this year. The idea being that I could resell it when I'm done next year and that it is worth way more in Bangladesh because of the lack of good quality bikes here. The final idea of buying new bike just came recently. Someone told me that there is a company that makes bikes for the European market in Bangladesh. They said they are a bit pricey but good quality. I looked them up and they are even in my neighborhood! The only problem is that they are an exporter so I'm not sure if they will sell to the local market and at what rate they may do this? It can't hurt to call and find out I guess. My bicycle is a great source of joy and sorrow in my life. When it works and all is well, I have a real love for riding it and find it very therapeutic as it gives me time to think about life. When it doesn't work and it breaks along the way, it makes for a miserable journey and ruins one of my most peaceful times of the day. Biking is when all the frustrations of the day just seem to melt away and when it doesn't work properly, I just feel even more angry than before.

Wedding Stuff. That's right, wedding stuff is something I'm actually going to mention on my blog! Things have been progressing lately. I'm now in the time frame in which I can submit my marriage visa application. American's don't have to submit visa applications for the UK for tourism reasons but you do when you want to get married there and boy is it getting long. I'm supplying a lot of documents to them to prove I'm the real deal. I think I'm about 1.5 weeks away from being really truly ready to submit a fully complete document that will knock their socks off and convince them, this is a man who should marry a Northern Irish woman. Esther and I are working on putting together our final order of service right now. It is an interesting process. I feel kind of bad for Esther because I rarely seem like I take anything serious and am always cracking a joke about it all. We went to the tailors the other day and ordered a suit. They said it would be ready for fitting in a week and then finalized a few days after that. I thought that was pretty impressive because most the tailoring that I've had done in the past took 2-4 weeks. I'm getting a jacket, vest, and 2 pairs of pants made. They were super helpful and even thought to ask us about things we never would have thought about when ordering a suit. Those qualities are rare in Bangladesh where you normally face a situation where if you don't ask it they don't mention it. They even listened to me and understood when I explained that I have broad shoulders and therefore a fitted style works best on me (at least until I get that big gut that everyone says is coming with marriage). All in all, things are progressing. Not always as fast as we would feel comfortable with but they are progressing.

So that is a small taste of my life lately. As I told a friend the other day, I'm trusting that God will carry me through all of this because it certainly isn't going to be my strength!

Winds

Wow! How has a month slipped by me so fast?

To be fair, 9 out of the 31 days since I last posted were spent in Nepal where I steadfastly refused to pay much attention at all to the internet. I have great pictures to share, but they're on my camera which never seems to be in the same place as my computer these days. Life seems to go by in swirls lately. At the top of the swirls are joys like playing basketball in the rain with the guys, hearing whisps of God's voice, and spending time with the woman I love. Then the next thing I know, I'm thrown right back through the rough and tumble aspects of life here that chew you up and leave you exhausted. If we could watch each others' lives like we watch the play of the wind in trees I think the effects would be much the same. Sometimes on warm gentle sunshiny days, we would feel renewed and relaxed, but on other days, the rush and destruction of that wind would be terrifying to behold. My life lately has been such that I'm never quite sure where I'm at in the swirl at any given time. I just keep on going with the hope that something new and beautiful will spring up with the next twist.

Sailing

Right now, my stomach is creaking like a ship. Unfortunately, the resulting smells do not bear any resemblance to a warm, gentle sea breeze.

Opening Doors

Once upon a time last summer, I opened a lot of car doors for Esther while we were in Northern Ireland. She thought it to be very chivalrous until I explained that since her mother's car didn't have power locks, it just made sense for me to use the key to unlock it and since I was doing that I might as well open it. Luckily for me, she still pretended it was chivalry. I did warn her though that if she wanted me to continue being chivalrous, then she should conspire to make sure we never get a car with power locks. Most of this is an aside though, my main point is that I opened doors.

It is probably about that you are thinking to yourself, Phil is going no where fast, yet again but I promise you that I really do have a plan this time! You see, one of the things that I find joy and beauty in while I'm in Bangladesh is Esther. Not just because she is awesome, which she most definitely is, but because she opens doors for me. You see, she breaks down so many of the cultural barriers that exist for me here. As a single male, it is inappropriate for me to relate to a large swath of people here and another large portion of people have a hard time relating to me. Most men my age in Bangladesh are married with children, married and thinking about children, or soon to be married. Before I met Esther, I was in none of those groups which just made normal relationships difficult as I just couldn't fit the culture in a natural way. Now that Esther and I are engaged, everyone at work treats her as if she is already my wife and the doors have been flung wide open. The staff relate to me in a whole new way and I thoroughly enjoy it. It is nice to be moving into to circles after 3 years of partial isolation to them. It's even comforting if I do say so myself. It just feels good to have doors open for you even if there isn't any chivalry involved.