Motivation

I have a confession to make. I struggle to get motivated to do certain things quite frequently. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one but this is my confession and I can't speak for everyone. If you hadn't guessed by now, this is on my mind because I've been doing a lot of tasks lately that I'm just not all that motivated to do. Currently that task is editing a 36 page project proposal. As my mother and father well know, give me a pitchfork or a fence post driver and I could be outside working all day long but hit me with paperwork and my joy dwindles rather rapidly. I look for any small task I can possibly come up with to distract me from the paperwork for a short time and then try to work on it in bursts. I should probably police myself more carefully.

I have noticed a few additional habits I have when I'm avoiding work that I'm not motivated to do. I find myself more inclined to play games like hearts on the computer (I love playing hearts but must admit that it makes me feel like yelling at the computer when I lose). I also have a habit of playing around with numbers. This morning I read the HMMC church bulletin like I always do but decided to calculate what the average salary of an attendee should be based off attendance and an assumption that offering is a 10% tithe. I didn't do that to announce numbers or try to shame anyone; I was just curious what number I would come up with.

Oddly enough, the same thing that makes me interested in doing random math can lead people to have the wrong impression of me. I have had a coworker who wasn't around me too often think that I was a very organized and detail oriented person. I love knowing all the details, I dislike managing them. The fact that I know them and am interested in the details themselves because they help me to understand the bigger picture doesn't translate into me wanting to work with them beyond just toying with them. Fortunately, I was raised to understand that sometimes you've got to do things you just don't like doing. That doesn't mean it is easy, but somehow I'll find the motivation to tackle this monster, somewhere...somehow...