Luster

Yet another week has passed and I'm remembering something. Details are fine in spurts for me but lose their luster over time. Therefore, I'm starting to notice that cleaning my house is becoming more difficult to convince myself to do. The fun part now is figuring out how to convince myself otherwise. One mistake I made this weekend was taking my computer home. I spent my entire Saturday watching movies when I should have been doing some cleaning. I am way too easily distracted. If I don't have a computer at home I still often get distracted by reading a book but that is a bit more productive than watching a movie in my opinion.

I'm also starting to wonder if I'm not starting to get near my burnout point again. I've noticed myself getting more pessimistic about certain things lately and I just realized I've been 3 straight months in Bangladesh. Usually the 4th or 5th month is when I really start to notice it. It makes me wonder how much we control these feelings and how much they control us. I mean, I'm normally a go with the flow kind of guy but I always find myself getting worn down after so many months in this country. If I had a lot of control over that, you would think I could just apply a positive attitude and do better for longer. By all means, things have gone really well in my life lately but that doesn't seem to be stopping this, if this is indeed the start of burnout. If I do accept that it is somewhat beyond my control; how does one come to grips with that? How do I deal with the fact that I know I'm going to slowly get more grumpy over the next two months until I leave for America? Right now I'm not doing so bad at all, I just suspect this is coming. Then again, maybe this is just another situation in which details lose their luster for me. Maybe the solution for my house cleaning is the same solution I need to figure out for my life in general. I'll try to let you know if I figure anything interesting out.