Meal topics...

So the past couple of days we've had unusual lunch conversations. Well, at least unusual for us. We have gotten to if so and so where a what, which one would they be. An example of this yesterday was, if Nate were a car what car would he be. Well, today the girls were talking about how they couldn't stay mad at me because I'm like a dog chasing his tale. It doesn't matter how mad you are, it is hard to stay mad at a dog off in it's own little world doing something silly. This immediately lead into the discussion of what kind of dog I would be. It didn't take them long to decide that I would be a Mastiff. I vaguely knew what kind of dog that was at the time. They said it was because it's a big dog that just kind of meanders through life. They said that crazy stuff can be happening all around me and I'm just kind of standing there taking it in stride. I decided to come back and google it. The following is the description I found on 5stardog.com, which seemed like a reputable site?

"The mastiff is an agreeable, laid-back dog – a “gentle giant.” It is loyal, courageous, and confident. It is not a playful breed, but rather calm and dignified. It rarely barks, drools excessively, and tends to snore loudly. It is patient with children, but not recommended for toddlers due to its large size. It is possessive of its home and family and makes an excellent guard dog. It will not attack intruders, but holds them at bay with its large size. It will refuse to let strangers enter the house unless its owner accepts them. If properly socialized as a puppy, it will accept other dogs. It can be difficult to train."

I would definitely agree that I'm agreeable. <-- I'm allowed to say that right?
I feel like I'm pretty laid back whenever I'm not around my parents...and even sometimes when I am around them.
"Gentle giant" seems pretty accurate too when you take into consideration that I'm often referred to as a "Teddy Bear." Though the whole giant thing might not be true by the end of three years here.
I also tend to think that I'm extremely loyal regardless of whether people know how much I am.
I'm not sure if I would call myself "courageous" but I am probably adventurous which is caused by my curiosity and one of the definitions for adventurous has to do with being courageous so I'm not so sure.
I would say that I'm pretty confident, mostly in that whatever happens will happen and that the outcome will be the outcome. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm pretty confident that the things that are out of my control are out of my control and therefore I shouldn't worry about them too much.
"Not a playful breed" is probably pretty far off the mark. I actually get into a lot of trouble by wanting to be playful.
Calm might be fairly accurate but dignified is probably one of the farthest things from being accurate about me.
I have also been told time and time again that I'm too loud so rarely barks is off the mark too.
I have been trying to work on the whole drool thing but sometimes I still struggle with it. The other day I took a nap and woke up with my face in a puddle of it. That's always a bad way to wake in my opinion.
I do snore sometimes but I would always argue that it's never loud. It's usually more of just like a heavy breathing. If I fall asleep in the wrong position I have managed to wake myself up once or twice with a loud snort.
I'm pretty good with kids but for some reason I tend to scare toddlers, it might indeed be because of my large size as this piece speculates.
I am indeed pretty possessive of my home and family. I love them both dearly.
I won't attack an intruder because I'm a pacifist but I will attempt to peacefully hold them at bay with my size.
I would probably refuse to let people into my owner's house but I don't have to worry about that one because God knows no stranger. ;-)
I am pretty accepting of other people but I'm not sure I was properly socialized as a puppy. I'm pretty sure I'm not properly socialized most of the time now.
I feel like I'm pretty bad at being trained at some things. I'm a little headstrong and stubborn at times. If you want to know more about that one just ask my mom about how hard I was to potty train. (I might post that story later just for a laugh.)

So mathematically I would say about 80% of the Mastiff breed description is accurate. Which is either some sort of "B" or some sort of "C" depending on what grade scale you go by. Congratulations girls, if this was an American school project you would have passed, but I would still like to say that I'm disappointed in you. You are very capable and smart young ladies and could have gotten an "A" if you really set your mind to it.


Peace,

Phil M. Birkey (I can only assume that M. stands for Mastiff at this point.)