First a bit of a progress note on my last post: I got a couple of emails from people too afraid (or wise, depending on your view) to comment on the actual post. I think I'll share a bit from one of their emails because I think they had a good point (I will leave them anonymous though).
Quote #1: My suggestion is to not think about it in terms of being right or wrong. It is your opinion. Don’t assume you are correct. There may be more than one good answer. On biblical differences, view it as an opportunity to examine your beliefs and why you believe that way. I think a lot of times we get caught up in trying to determine what is right and what is wrong on little things (although I would not necessarily call them trivial or insignificant), but we lose sight of what is really important. You quoted it, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind; love your neighbor as yourself.” Remember this always.
Quote #2: If you read the story of Jesus telling the rich man to give away all that he has, the rich man’s response is disappointment because he loves his possessions more than he loves God. There are many places in the Bible where rich men are also praised but not because they are rich but because they are faithful and lead good lives. Take the story of Job for instance. If we all lived paycheck to paycheck because we give everything beyond what we need to live to charity, who would have money to start small businesses and provide jobs for others? I heard someone say once that you are not giving enough to charity and the church until it causes you to sacrifice something in your life. I think this is a good measure of the minimum you should be doing.
I scream an "AMEN!!!" to the first quote and have a lot of respect for the second one. I guess the only thing I would have to say is not that I disagree with the second quote but rather that it is my opinion that it is the minimum. Unfortunately, it is also my opinion that I am not interested in minimums and would prefer to focus all of those financial resources towards the first quote. I must also provide a disclaimer though, I of all people have never been all that great at handling money. I all to often let it handle me. This is part of why I take such a hard line stance with myself on the issue.
Ok, enough of that though. I should move on to other things. This past week wasn't all that amazingly interesting. I did however have one part of the week that stood out to me. On Saturday, I went to our home church and Tim, our host this week, let me in the gate. Tim asked how I was, to which I responded, "I'm doing pretty good, how are you." He said that he was doing pretty well and then proceeded to say that he doesn't recollect me ever saying that I'm not having a good day. This reminded me something about myself. I am (and always have been) a generally happy person who has worries (and frustrations)but trusts that God will take care of me and uses that as an excuse to stay positive. Somehow, I think I have slowly started losing that aspect of me in my time in Bangladesh. I especially see that in my musings over the past month or two since returning to Bangladesh. I've lived too much of my life worrying and fretting over things. Thanks to Tim though, I remembered and it made my day. It's a good thing too, because that night I got all the way home before I realized that I had forgotten my house key. I did what Phil Birkey does best in response to such things, I laughed at my stupidity and enjoyed the extra 4 miles of bike riding I had back to the office. I don't know if you've had the chance to re-find yourself but let me tell you, it is a great feeling.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
A Rant
I realized something this morning. My anti-histamine pills for my allergy to my house are having some side effects, specifically, drowsiness. I knew that was a possible side effect but didn't think it was because I haven't noticed it during the day. This morning though as I struggled to get up at 6 despite going to bed at 9:30 the previous night, I realized that I've been doing that for several weeks now and it all came together in my mind. I had noticed it previously but assumed it was because the World cup games and power cuts were throwing off my sleep schedule. I'm not really sure what I can do about it though. I need the pills to not break out in hives but they are ruining my favorite part of the day. :-(
This past week I have also noticed something of an issue in my life. I am young and inexperienced. This hurts my confidence in standing up and making certain arguments. This is both in work and belief situations. (be prepared this next part gets a bit long but should be an interesting read for many of you)
For instance, this past week I had some friends over for dinner. These friends are from a more Baptist background and it shows. Since my background is economics, talk eventually got on the topic of money. I happened to mention that I fall closer to the beliefs of the emergent church on this topic and specifically that I don't believe in storing up safety nets of money for myself. This is when he pulled out Proverbs 13:22 (NIV) "A good man leaves an inheritance for his children's children..." I really wanted to go off on him for cherry picking on what I really feel is a pretty clear subject in the Bible. I didn't though because I can't quote sections of the Bible perfectly from memory and to counter-argue with him would have just pointed that out. When I read the Bible I remember concepts and flow much better than I remember phrases. Should I be so ashamed to admit that I can't (or maybe just don't) memorize it word for word? I wanted to point out to him the birds of the air and the lilies of the field who the Lord provides for or how Jesus told the rich man to give it all away or how hard it is for the camel to pass through the eye of the needle or how Jesus commanded the disciples to go and take NOTHING with them. I wanted to talk about how part of my belief comes from the fact that some of what I believe comes from the fact that when Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment he replied, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind; and love your neighbor as yourself." (I googled it and it comes from Luke 10:27) The important thing to notice here is that he didn't stop at the most important part, but also went to say that the thing that obviously must be there if you do this properly is to "love your neighbor as yourself". Jesus then responds to the question of who one's neighbor is by telling the story of the good Samaritan. Which along with his saying "Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?...whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother." (Matthew 12:48-50 looked that one up too) This along with the good Samaritan example have lead me to rethink what I consider family references in the Bible to mean. I also take note that an inheritance is not necessarily money. We all inherit traits (and in my case some craziness) from our family (and friends) as well as things like history and wisdom. For instance, my Grandma Birkey didn't leave any money behind when she died but one thing that I found obvious from stories of people who came to visit her in the hospital before her death was that she was leaving behind a legacy that changed quite a few lives. In short, I view the Proverbs verse about leaving an inheritance for my children's children to be about how I should live my life in relationship to others rather than about how God blesses those who save up money for their grandkids. But instead of saying all this, I sat there and mumbled something about disagreeing with that view but respecting it.
This behavior of mine carries over into my work as well. I've recently been reviewing a project proposal for my boss and one of my criticisms is that many of his numbers aren't based off anything other than speculation. I point out how we should be getting the information on these. He agrees and then talks about the thought process that went into determining the speculative number. Eventually, he still agrees with me but doesn't act on this at all, the plan continues forward unchanged. We recently had an expert on the subject pass through the office while doing some research and we asked for his opinion on our proposal. Low and behold, he points out the same thing I was just pointing out, and then tells them to completely drop it from the budget, which they promptly do. Que the rolling of my eyes.
I guess what I'm trying to point out with all of this is not that I'm right. I'm mostly trying to point out that even in situations where I may be right or just believe strongly that I'm right, I have very little confidence to push the issue. Part of this is probably because something about my mannerisms when pushing an issue makes me come across as arrogant (something I've had pointed out to me numerous times). Part of it is probably because I am to willing to admit that I'm not an expert and could be wrong (as I have also been countless times). In the end it seems to me that there are two solutions to this problem. I can either just push my opinions as truth until proven wrong (thus really going far into the arrogance spectrum) or I can just slowly work towards discerning when my opinions are worth pushing and when I should drop the issue because I'm being foolish (maybe underselling my potential contributions in the mean time). Is this an accurate perception of the options available to me? I've chosen the latter option for most of my life. Maybe I should pursue the first option more while looking for ways to make it sound less arrogant than it currently comes across? Also, how closely are arrogance and stubbornness to each other? I'm definitely pretty stubborn.
I should probably wrap this up, I've got more to write but I just went on a fairly long rant so I'll quit before I risk making myself look more the fool.
This past week I have also noticed something of an issue in my life. I am young and inexperienced. This hurts my confidence in standing up and making certain arguments. This is both in work and belief situations. (be prepared this next part gets a bit long but should be an interesting read for many of you)
For instance, this past week I had some friends over for dinner. These friends are from a more Baptist background and it shows. Since my background is economics, talk eventually got on the topic of money. I happened to mention that I fall closer to the beliefs of the emergent church on this topic and specifically that I don't believe in storing up safety nets of money for myself. This is when he pulled out Proverbs 13:22 (NIV) "A good man leaves an inheritance for his children's children..." I really wanted to go off on him for cherry picking on what I really feel is a pretty clear subject in the Bible. I didn't though because I can't quote sections of the Bible perfectly from memory and to counter-argue with him would have just pointed that out. When I read the Bible I remember concepts and flow much better than I remember phrases. Should I be so ashamed to admit that I can't (or maybe just don't) memorize it word for word? I wanted to point out to him the birds of the air and the lilies of the field who the Lord provides for or how Jesus told the rich man to give it all away or how hard it is for the camel to pass through the eye of the needle or how Jesus commanded the disciples to go and take NOTHING with them. I wanted to talk about how part of my belief comes from the fact that some of what I believe comes from the fact that when Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment he replied, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind; and love your neighbor as yourself." (I googled it and it comes from Luke 10:27) The important thing to notice here is that he didn't stop at the most important part, but also went to say that the thing that obviously must be there if you do this properly is to "love your neighbor as yourself". Jesus then responds to the question of who one's neighbor is by telling the story of the good Samaritan. Which along with his saying "Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?...whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother." (Matthew 12:48-50 looked that one up too) This along with the good Samaritan example have lead me to rethink what I consider family references in the Bible to mean. I also take note that an inheritance is not necessarily money. We all inherit traits (and in my case some craziness) from our family (and friends) as well as things like history and wisdom. For instance, my Grandma Birkey didn't leave any money behind when she died but one thing that I found obvious from stories of people who came to visit her in the hospital before her death was that she was leaving behind a legacy that changed quite a few lives. In short, I view the Proverbs verse about leaving an inheritance for my children's children to be about how I should live my life in relationship to others rather than about how God blesses those who save up money for their grandkids. But instead of saying all this, I sat there and mumbled something about disagreeing with that view but respecting it.
This behavior of mine carries over into my work as well. I've recently been reviewing a project proposal for my boss and one of my criticisms is that many of his numbers aren't based off anything other than speculation. I point out how we should be getting the information on these. He agrees and then talks about the thought process that went into determining the speculative number. Eventually, he still agrees with me but doesn't act on this at all, the plan continues forward unchanged. We recently had an expert on the subject pass through the office while doing some research and we asked for his opinion on our proposal. Low and behold, he points out the same thing I was just pointing out, and then tells them to completely drop it from the budget, which they promptly do. Que the rolling of my eyes.
I guess what I'm trying to point out with all of this is not that I'm right. I'm mostly trying to point out that even in situations where I may be right or just believe strongly that I'm right, I have very little confidence to push the issue. Part of this is probably because something about my mannerisms when pushing an issue makes me come across as arrogant (something I've had pointed out to me numerous times). Part of it is probably because I am to willing to admit that I'm not an expert and could be wrong (as I have also been countless times). In the end it seems to me that there are two solutions to this problem. I can either just push my opinions as truth until proven wrong (thus really going far into the arrogance spectrum) or I can just slowly work towards discerning when my opinions are worth pushing and when I should drop the issue because I'm being foolish (maybe underselling my potential contributions in the mean time). Is this an accurate perception of the options available to me? I've chosen the latter option for most of my life. Maybe I should pursue the first option more while looking for ways to make it sound less arrogant than it currently comes across? Also, how closely are arrogance and stubbornness to each other? I'm definitely pretty stubborn.
I should probably wrap this up, I've got more to write but I just went on a fairly long rant so I'll quit before I risk making myself look more the fool.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
The Big Bang Strikes Again
Forgot to post last week...oops. So this is a talk about the pondering and happenings of the past two weeks.
It has dried up considerably since my last post. The road is no longer inches of pure mud. It has rained the last two days in a row but they were morning showers and everything dries out fast after those. I'm still amazed at how much water this country can hold.
This past week we said goodbye to Jodi for the final time. That involved going to Dhaka and spending some time hanging out as a group. It's never a joyous occasion to see some one leave but since she lives in Ohio, I'm sure I'll see here again. That makes saying goodbye easier. Her leaving will definitely change the dynamic in Bogra. Social life has pretty much revolved around her for most of the last 2 years. Part of this is due to her jubilant personality and part of it is due to her house being strategically located. It will be interesting to see how we compensate for that. Bangladesh did give her a going away present. She got sick for the final days before she left.
Speaking of sickness, health has been a real issue around these parts. Ben was also sick last week and it seems I've got some sort of cold this week. Then on top of that, Nate had a motorcycle accident and broke his hand. He ended up having surgery on it to make sure it is set properly. I guess they told him that if he was 60 or a construction worker, it wouldn't need surgery, but because he is both young and a computer worker, he needed it. That makes me the only person in our household to have not broken an extremity in Bangladesh. I hope it stays that way.
I planned on having guests over for dinner last night but I had to postpone that due to electricity issues. As in, there wasn't any the night before. I got home in the evening and the power was off. I'm so used to this by now that I thought nothing of it, so I started mixing up brownies to pop in the oven when the power returned. Then I sat down to wait on the electricity to return. Only, it never did. I napped on the couch for awhile knowing that if the power came back on the lights and fans would wake me up. Then at about 12:30 the small battery powered fan I was using to make things bearable, died. So I grabbed Nate's battery powered fan and moved to my bed. At about 2:30 his fan also died. That left me sitting there sweating (literally and figuratively) with the knowledge that if the power hasn't come on in 5 hours, it isn't likely to do so soon. So I moved my sheet to the floor and slept on the concrete for the rest of the night because it is cooler than my bed. They said the electricity finally came back on sometime late yesterday morning but by then I had already rescheduled for fear that it wouldn't. I was finally able to bake my brownies last night. :-) I'm still working on the timing when using my new pyrex dish though and I might have burned them a bit.
It has dried up considerably since my last post. The road is no longer inches of pure mud. It has rained the last two days in a row but they were morning showers and everything dries out fast after those. I'm still amazed at how much water this country can hold.
This past week we said goodbye to Jodi for the final time. That involved going to Dhaka and spending some time hanging out as a group. It's never a joyous occasion to see some one leave but since she lives in Ohio, I'm sure I'll see here again. That makes saying goodbye easier. Her leaving will definitely change the dynamic in Bogra. Social life has pretty much revolved around her for most of the last 2 years. Part of this is due to her jubilant personality and part of it is due to her house being strategically located. It will be interesting to see how we compensate for that. Bangladesh did give her a going away present. She got sick for the final days before she left.
Speaking of sickness, health has been a real issue around these parts. Ben was also sick last week and it seems I've got some sort of cold this week. Then on top of that, Nate had a motorcycle accident and broke his hand. He ended up having surgery on it to make sure it is set properly. I guess they told him that if he was 60 or a construction worker, it wouldn't need surgery, but because he is both young and a computer worker, he needed it. That makes me the only person in our household to have not broken an extremity in Bangladesh. I hope it stays that way.
I planned on having guests over for dinner last night but I had to postpone that due to electricity issues. As in, there wasn't any the night before. I got home in the evening and the power was off. I'm so used to this by now that I thought nothing of it, so I started mixing up brownies to pop in the oven when the power returned. Then I sat down to wait on the electricity to return. Only, it never did. I napped on the couch for awhile knowing that if the power came back on the lights and fans would wake me up. Then at about 12:30 the small battery powered fan I was using to make things bearable, died. So I grabbed Nate's battery powered fan and moved to my bed. At about 2:30 his fan also died. That left me sitting there sweating (literally and figuratively) with the knowledge that if the power hasn't come on in 5 hours, it isn't likely to do so soon. So I moved my sheet to the floor and slept on the concrete for the rest of the night because it is cooler than my bed. They said the electricity finally came back on sometime late yesterday morning but by then I had already rescheduled for fear that it wouldn't. I was finally able to bake my brownies last night. :-) I'm still working on the timing when using my new pyrex dish though and I might have burned them a bit.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Mud, rashes, and English
This past week has been an interesting one from my perspective.
I finally settled back down into my normal work in my normal office and slept in my own bed. Unfortunately, it seems that my own bed is causing me some sort of allergic reaction. It started with itchy arms. Then my legs and body joined in. Finally, I woke up yesterday morning and the right side of my mouth was puffy (fun fact for you, I almost always sleep facing my left). I wasn't too concerned until the lips started puffing up. Today it was the same problem. We are pretty sure it is a reaction to something in our house because many people who have stayed at our place recently have gotten itchy. The most recent suspicion is that maybe some sort of chemical in our roof or ceiling is floating down in dust and slowly builds up over time. All I know is that if it gets any worse, this guy will be refusing to stay in my own home because puffy lips is a really freaky feeling.
I've also been editing a project proposal. This has led me to an insight. When you don't grow up with English as a first language, the simple words are sometimes the hardest to understand the complexities of. For instance, how do decide whether to use "in" or "on"? For example, we would say that you use pesticides on vegetables but also say that you use pesticides in vegetable cultivation. It is a little thing but it applies to a lot of different words and different situations. I've also noticed that filler words like "the" and "a" are difficult as well. Just an observation.
Finally, it rained a bunch here the past couple of days. That means that our dirt road has turned into a mud one. This is especially true near our house where it is very difficult to keep my bicycle upright in several inches of mud. So far I have managed to navigate it successfully but keep posted, if I do fall I'm sure I'll have a nice muddy picture of me to share!
I finally settled back down into my normal work in my normal office and slept in my own bed. Unfortunately, it seems that my own bed is causing me some sort of allergic reaction. It started with itchy arms. Then my legs and body joined in. Finally, I woke up yesterday morning and the right side of my mouth was puffy (fun fact for you, I almost always sleep facing my left). I wasn't too concerned until the lips started puffing up. Today it was the same problem. We are pretty sure it is a reaction to something in our house because many people who have stayed at our place recently have gotten itchy. The most recent suspicion is that maybe some sort of chemical in our roof or ceiling is floating down in dust and slowly builds up over time. All I know is that if it gets any worse, this guy will be refusing to stay in my own home because puffy lips is a really freaky feeling.
I've also been editing a project proposal. This has led me to an insight. When you don't grow up with English as a first language, the simple words are sometimes the hardest to understand the complexities of. For instance, how do decide whether to use "in" or "on"? For example, we would say that you use pesticides on vegetables but also say that you use pesticides in vegetable cultivation. It is a little thing but it applies to a lot of different words and different situations. I've also noticed that filler words like "the" and "a" are difficult as well. Just an observation.
Finally, it rained a bunch here the past couple of days. That means that our dirt road has turned into a mud one. This is especially true near our house where it is very difficult to keep my bicycle upright in several inches of mud. So far I have managed to navigate it successfully but keep posted, if I do fall I'm sure I'll have a nice muddy picture of me to share!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Prayer Requests
This is a new thing for my blog and I hope to make it something you'll find regularly. My goal is to be a little more connected to those who would like to know what things could use prayer in the lives of those I interact with here. This comes out of being reminded while I was at home that each of us has different gifts and unless we open ourselves up to allowing others to use their gifts, we won't see them.
One thing that could be prayed for is the upcoming Vision and Values Training that a couple of co-workers are partnering with an organization called Food for the Hungry to give to our staff.
I'd also ask for prayers for both MCC's ex-pat workers and many of our ex-pat friends. Many of our workers are finishing up the final month or so of their term with MCC and that means a big transition is coming for them. I also add our friends to that list because it seems like all of them are traveling a lot lately and one in particular is back in the USA right now having hip replacement surgery.
As always, prayers for the people of Bangladesh are appreciated. There are not a lot of crops in the fields right now as harvest just happened this past month but this is storm season and natural disasters that result in a loss of life are a real possibility.
I think I should probably end this with a prayer of thanksgiving. It sounds like all of the MCC staff in Bangladesh fared well while I was gone. One co-worker even celebrated the wedding of his daughter!
One thing that could be prayed for is the upcoming Vision and Values Training that a couple of co-workers are partnering with an organization called Food for the Hungry to give to our staff.
I'd also ask for prayers for both MCC's ex-pat workers and many of our ex-pat friends. Many of our workers are finishing up the final month or so of their term with MCC and that means a big transition is coming for them. I also add our friends to that list because it seems like all of them are traveling a lot lately and one in particular is back in the USA right now having hip replacement surgery.
As always, prayers for the people of Bangladesh are appreciated. There are not a lot of crops in the fields right now as harvest just happened this past month but this is storm season and natural disasters that result in a loss of life are a real possibility.
I think I should probably end this with a prayer of thanksgiving. It sounds like all of the MCC staff in Bangladesh fared well while I was gone. One co-worker even celebrated the wedding of his daughter!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
High Definition
Ever since returning to Bangladesh a week ago, one thing has really stood out to me. It feels like when I left Bangladesh in April, everything was in analog TV mode but since returning it is like everything is in high definition. Maybe that is just the difference the rains make in cleaning up all the dust and dirt. Maybe it is just the result of having returned from the States where colors are very bland compared to Bengali tastes. Regardless, I find myself in just pure awe of it at times.
I also noticed that my Bangla pronunciations where terrible when I returned. A week later I'm starting to gain some of my confidence back again and finding that I'm able to start adding a bit more complexity to my sentences. It's all a good reminder that I need to practice and study Bangla more.
I've spent a grand total of about 15 minutes at my house since coming back. I spent most of the last week doing work in Dhaka and saying farewell to the Miller family. It is saddening to see them go but like I previously noted, I'm not one for being too caught up in such things. I trust God has a purpose for them and this move in their lives. I finally returned to Bogra last Thursday which is the end of the work week. I got back to the office in time to have a late lunch. After that I had an hour long talk with my boss. He then invited me to come with him to his parent's house for the weekend. Having vowed to do more of those types of things, I took him up on it. So I went home, threw my dirty clothes in the laundry, grabbed some clean clothes, and took off with him right after work.
He is from a part of Bangladesh that is famous for its mangoes and it happens to be mango harvest season. I had a great time hanging out with him and his family. The mangoes were everything they were billed to be (I didn't like mango last year but love them this year, funny how tastes change huh?). The only thing that didn't go so well was that they found out that a bunch of their mangoes got stolen. Having crops stolen is a real issue in Bangladesh which is why most people hire help to watch the crop as harvest nears. Fortunately, my boss, while sad and frustrated at this news, isn't some poor Bengali who will starve as a result of losing $15 worth of mangoes. I also had a new kind of flat bread while I was there. It was made from a brown rice flour, very delicious. His mother even made the best tasting beef dish I've had in Bangladesh. Overall, I think that part of Bangladesh is one of my favorites so far. We traveled through the 4th largest city in Bangladesh there and it felt more like a giant village than a city. That appeals to me.
I got back from this trip last night about 7 but since his wife and child were off visiting family and my roommates are both out of town right now, he invited me to his place to watch World Cup games for the night. I was hesitant to accept since I was out of clean clothes at this point but the draw of watching the England vs. USA game trumped those hesitations. In retrospect, it was very much worth losing sleep and wearing dirty clothes to work today. Seriously everyone, watch the World Cup games. They're amazing and kind of a big deal. I'll try to post later about how the Bengali people celebrate it all.
I also noticed that my Bangla pronunciations where terrible when I returned. A week later I'm starting to gain some of my confidence back again and finding that I'm able to start adding a bit more complexity to my sentences. It's all a good reminder that I need to practice and study Bangla more.
I've spent a grand total of about 15 minutes at my house since coming back. I spent most of the last week doing work in Dhaka and saying farewell to the Miller family. It is saddening to see them go but like I previously noted, I'm not one for being too caught up in such things. I trust God has a purpose for them and this move in their lives. I finally returned to Bogra last Thursday which is the end of the work week. I got back to the office in time to have a late lunch. After that I had an hour long talk with my boss. He then invited me to come with him to his parent's house for the weekend. Having vowed to do more of those types of things, I took him up on it. So I went home, threw my dirty clothes in the laundry, grabbed some clean clothes, and took off with him right after work.
He is from a part of Bangladesh that is famous for its mangoes and it happens to be mango harvest season. I had a great time hanging out with him and his family. The mangoes were everything they were billed to be (I didn't like mango last year but love them this year, funny how tastes change huh?). The only thing that didn't go so well was that they found out that a bunch of their mangoes got stolen. Having crops stolen is a real issue in Bangladesh which is why most people hire help to watch the crop as harvest nears. Fortunately, my boss, while sad and frustrated at this news, isn't some poor Bengali who will starve as a result of losing $15 worth of mangoes. I also had a new kind of flat bread while I was there. It was made from a brown rice flour, very delicious. His mother even made the best tasting beef dish I've had in Bangladesh. Overall, I think that part of Bangladesh is one of my favorites so far. We traveled through the 4th largest city in Bangladesh there and it felt more like a giant village than a city. That appeals to me.
I got back from this trip last night about 7 but since his wife and child were off visiting family and my roommates are both out of town right now, he invited me to his place to watch World Cup games for the night. I was hesitant to accept since I was out of clean clothes at this point but the draw of watching the England vs. USA game trumped those hesitations. In retrospect, it was very much worth losing sleep and wearing dirty clothes to work today. Seriously everyone, watch the World Cup games. They're amazing and kind of a big deal. I'll try to post later about how the Bengali people celebrate it all.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
The Return
I could probably write about 30 posts right now. I won't, but I could. :-)
I guess the place to start then is to talk about my return and highlight where I'm at.
I returned to Bangladesh yesterday morning. The airport was a friendly reminder that I was "home" as 5 flights came in around the same time and apparently only 1 of 3 baggage cart unloaders was in working condition. Seeing the familiar face of the driver as I walked out of the airport was pleasant. Then I on the drive back to the apartment I started feeling real excitement. I think for some reason most people expected me to feel some sort of sense of dread or sadness that I have returned but this isn't the case. I'm not really sure why this is. Perhaps it is because I am very aware of what I'm getting myself into. I get the impression that this is why people normally dread coming back to Bangladesh. For me, it actually is more comforting than scary though because there is direction and understand this time around. I know what 1.5 years in Bangladesh is like. I know approximately what I'll be doing. I know what things are going to bother me. I know what things I need to work on. I know that this will help me grow as a person.
Another perspective some might throw out is that one would expect that I'd be sad to leave my family and friends behind again. The biggest reason this isn't such an issue for me is that I know for sure at this point that distance is no match for a foundation of love. I have that foundation with many people back in America and, while being in Bangladesh definitely changes the buildings that are on those foundations, I know I can trust in those foundations to remain strong or even be stronger as a result of my being here. On top of that, I have a real sense that this is where I'm supposed to be. I don't talk about that too much, but it is something I have a lot of faith in. I feel like God placed this path in front of me for a reason and trusting in that is more comforting than I could have ever imagined.
That said, here I am starting up again. I know that in the coming days and months it will be easier for me to be excited about new challenges than to actually accomplish them. I think that is the real test I am facing at this point in my life. Can I be a detail oriented finisher at even an acceptable level? I must admit, I'm somewhat apprehensive to learn the answer to that question. Other than that, I view life as beautiful at this point.
To those of you in the States, thank you. Thank you for being wonderful.
I guess the place to start then is to talk about my return and highlight where I'm at.
I returned to Bangladesh yesterday morning. The airport was a friendly reminder that I was "home" as 5 flights came in around the same time and apparently only 1 of 3 baggage cart unloaders was in working condition. Seeing the familiar face of the driver as I walked out of the airport was pleasant. Then I on the drive back to the apartment I started feeling real excitement. I think for some reason most people expected me to feel some sort of sense of dread or sadness that I have returned but this isn't the case. I'm not really sure why this is. Perhaps it is because I am very aware of what I'm getting myself into. I get the impression that this is why people normally dread coming back to Bangladesh. For me, it actually is more comforting than scary though because there is direction and understand this time around. I know what 1.5 years in Bangladesh is like. I know approximately what I'll be doing. I know what things are going to bother me. I know what things I need to work on. I know that this will help me grow as a person.
Another perspective some might throw out is that one would expect that I'd be sad to leave my family and friends behind again. The biggest reason this isn't such an issue for me is that I know for sure at this point that distance is no match for a foundation of love. I have that foundation with many people back in America and, while being in Bangladesh definitely changes the buildings that are on those foundations, I know I can trust in those foundations to remain strong or even be stronger as a result of my being here. On top of that, I have a real sense that this is where I'm supposed to be. I don't talk about that too much, but it is something I have a lot of faith in. I feel like God placed this path in front of me for a reason and trusting in that is more comforting than I could have ever imagined.
That said, here I am starting up again. I know that in the coming days and months it will be easier for me to be excited about new challenges than to actually accomplish them. I think that is the real test I am facing at this point in my life. Can I be a detail oriented finisher at even an acceptable level? I must admit, I'm somewhat apprehensive to learn the answer to that question. Other than that, I view life as beautiful at this point.
To those of you in the States, thank you. Thank you for being wonderful.
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