This past weekend I was riding a motorcycle through town and got stuck behind a van. I had resigned myself to being stuck behind this van for a good distance because of the way traffic was at the time when as we rounded a slight bend in the road...an elephant appeared. You may wonder what this has to do with the van? Well in Bangladesh it isn't that uncommon for people with elephants to just wander around taking money from cars in exchange for not tearing up their car. It is just one more form of corruption. Fortunately for me, an elephant cannot hold up a motorcycle and I was able to pass the van just fine. I was in a truck once that was held up by an elephant but our driver saw it coming and managed to squeeze around the elephant quickly because the truck is more agile and quick than most vehicles in Bangladesh.
In other news, I'll be back in the US next week for a two month home leave. Maybe I'll see you there?
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Desire to Rage
One of the biggest challenges for me in being in Bangladesh is anger management. You are constantly bombarded by things that are just incredibly frustrating. In the last week alone I can think of 6 things that have made me very angry. When I was a child, I used to go into rages. I'd yell and do things like throw objects at the ground (sometimes breaking them). As I've gotten older I've realized the wisdom there is in controlling your anger through that initial storm of feeling but that isn't to say I'm perfect. I try to forgive when I calm down. I know I need to. Without further ado, the 6 things and my reactions.
1: One of my coworkers tells me about the trouble they are having getting government approval on something because the officials in various places want them to pay bribes. This annoys me so much and it happens everywhere here but I have no face to put on it so it just simmers with resentment inside of me. I take a deep breath and let it go as just something I can't control here.
2: Riding on rickshaw with one of my friends in Dhaka. Our peddler swerves at a young woman for absolutely no reason. He comes with a fraction of an inch of hitting her with a rickshaw axle (which hurts pretty darn bad). Before I know it, I've jabbed the rickshaw driver in the back with my umbrella (briefly forgot I was a pacifist). He turns to look at me and in the moment I realize how stupid I've just been. I apologize to him. Here in my anger I jabbed a poor oppressed guy for nearly hitting a poor oppressed woman. I felt like a real idiot for doing that.
3: Several CNG (local small 3 wheeled taxi) drivers asked for ridiculous prices just because I'm a foreigner at various times this past weekend. I tried to haggle them down or if the price was just way too crazy, I just walked away. I need to remember to not show my frustration with them when haggling. If you act cheerful, they are much more likely to continue bartering with you. If you show your anger in any way, they've won and it is impossible to barter a good price out of them.
4: I got home after a week and a half away to find a huge cockroach staring at me from the top of my bedpost. I grabbed the broom and went ballistic on him. I yelled all sorts of mean things as I repeatedly crushed him with that broom. I then grabbed a can of bug spray and killed a bunch of his family in the kitchen. It was not a good day to be a cockroach in my house. In this situation I was tired from a long week of traveling and realization that I have a lot of house cleaning to do. I still would have killed them regardless because I have guests coming this weekend who have made it very clear that they do not appreciate cockroaches. There was no need for me to do it with the anger with which I did that.
5: Yesterday morning a plan that we had to go to a partner fell apart at last second because one of the guys had to go to a meeting which they were supposed to have finished the previous evening. I got strait up out of my desk chair and went to his boss who had made the decision and we had a discussion about the merits of both decisions. I accepted that he really did need to go to the meeting but voiced my feelings about how I really need him to come on the partner trip. His boss suggested that we postpone our trip by a few hours if we could. After a few minutes of discussion about whether this was possible we arranged for this change. It all worked out fine in the end. I was still annoyed that it had happened but glad a solution could be found.
6: This morning I got up early to come into the office and use Skype to call my family. I've been so busy lately that I haven't had much of a chance to talk to any of them. I have a couple of issues I really need to talk to several people about. Unfortunately, the internet was down at the office and I ended up getting up early for nothing. I tried everything I could to get the internet going again. I was so angry, I slammed my fist down on my desk. This has happened to me several times now in the last couple of months since we switched internet providers. It is so frustrating when I have so little time to squeeze in these calls and just can't manage it. Then I get to thinking about the other things I could be getting done instead during the time that I wasted coming into the office early and that only makes me more upset. It makes me want to yell at my boss for making the decision to switch providers (even though I know and respect why he did that). It makes me want to break down into a fit of throwing things and has me on the verge of tears it is so frustrating. But eventually, I take some time to cool down and realize that stuff happens in life. This is beyond my control. Getting angry does nothing but make me feel terrible. So I calm down and try to forgive myself.
1: One of my coworkers tells me about the trouble they are having getting government approval on something because the officials in various places want them to pay bribes. This annoys me so much and it happens everywhere here but I have no face to put on it so it just simmers with resentment inside of me. I take a deep breath and let it go as just something I can't control here.
2: Riding on rickshaw with one of my friends in Dhaka. Our peddler swerves at a young woman for absolutely no reason. He comes with a fraction of an inch of hitting her with a rickshaw axle (which hurts pretty darn bad). Before I know it, I've jabbed the rickshaw driver in the back with my umbrella (briefly forgot I was a pacifist). He turns to look at me and in the moment I realize how stupid I've just been. I apologize to him. Here in my anger I jabbed a poor oppressed guy for nearly hitting a poor oppressed woman. I felt like a real idiot for doing that.
3: Several CNG (local small 3 wheeled taxi) drivers asked for ridiculous prices just because I'm a foreigner at various times this past weekend. I tried to haggle them down or if the price was just way too crazy, I just walked away. I need to remember to not show my frustration with them when haggling. If you act cheerful, they are much more likely to continue bartering with you. If you show your anger in any way, they've won and it is impossible to barter a good price out of them.
4: I got home after a week and a half away to find a huge cockroach staring at me from the top of my bedpost. I grabbed the broom and went ballistic on him. I yelled all sorts of mean things as I repeatedly crushed him with that broom. I then grabbed a can of bug spray and killed a bunch of his family in the kitchen. It was not a good day to be a cockroach in my house. In this situation I was tired from a long week of traveling and realization that I have a lot of house cleaning to do. I still would have killed them regardless because I have guests coming this weekend who have made it very clear that they do not appreciate cockroaches. There was no need for me to do it with the anger with which I did that.
5: Yesterday morning a plan that we had to go to a partner fell apart at last second because one of the guys had to go to a meeting which they were supposed to have finished the previous evening. I got strait up out of my desk chair and went to his boss who had made the decision and we had a discussion about the merits of both decisions. I accepted that he really did need to go to the meeting but voiced my feelings about how I really need him to come on the partner trip. His boss suggested that we postpone our trip by a few hours if we could. After a few minutes of discussion about whether this was possible we arranged for this change. It all worked out fine in the end. I was still annoyed that it had happened but glad a solution could be found.
6: This morning I got up early to come into the office and use Skype to call my family. I've been so busy lately that I haven't had much of a chance to talk to any of them. I have a couple of issues I really need to talk to several people about. Unfortunately, the internet was down at the office and I ended up getting up early for nothing. I tried everything I could to get the internet going again. I was so angry, I slammed my fist down on my desk. This has happened to me several times now in the last couple of months since we switched internet providers. It is so frustrating when I have so little time to squeeze in these calls and just can't manage it. Then I get to thinking about the other things I could be getting done instead during the time that I wasted coming into the office early and that only makes me more upset. It makes me want to yell at my boss for making the decision to switch providers (even though I know and respect why he did that). It makes me want to break down into a fit of throwing things and has me on the verge of tears it is so frustrating. But eventually, I take some time to cool down and realize that stuff happens in life. This is beyond my control. Getting angry does nothing but make me feel terrible. So I calm down and try to forgive myself.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Missionary Midnight
How many of you have ever heard of missionary midnight? It is a joke based on the idea that 10pm is a missionary's equivalent to midnight and therefore you are almost always in bed by then. Last night a group of my friends (a wonderful group of people) threw me an early birthday party. During the later stages of this party a new idea sprung forth. MISSIONARY TWISTER! Larry wanted to play twister but we didn't have a board. So we got some dry erase markers and labeled the tiles on the floor with Red, Yellow, Blue, and Green. Unfortunately, we didn't have colored markers, just black, so we just labeled them with letters. This lead to Dave's now famous comment, "Missionary Twister, we're so poor we can't even afford color!" We then skipped out on the spinner (because we didn't have one) and used four dutch blitz cards (just happen to be red, yellow, blue, and green!). Our designated caller, Gill, would pick a limb based off her random whim then draw a card for color. At times, it was very questionable whether these choices were random at all (they most definitely were not) but it was a good challenge and lots of fun. There are lots of pictures from this event that I hope never find their way to the internet! Esther threatened to send them directly to my mother but I assured her that no pictures of me doing anything silly would be surprising to my mother at this point.
Moral of the Story: Just like my childhood, in Bangladesh sometimes creating your own fun beats commercialized fun.
Moral of the Story: Just like my childhood, in Bangladesh sometimes creating your own fun beats commercialized fun.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Vision and Values
This past week I had the opportunity to sit in on a vision and values training that we have been giving to all our staff in Bangladesh. The training is an adaptation of a training that FH (Food for the Hungry) had developed. As I may have mentioned before, MCC Bangladesh has staff from many backgrounds. I work with people from Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Animist, and Christian backgrounds. Beyond that, the people are also from many different cultures. The Bengali people are the dominant culture of Bangladesh but we also have many other indigenous cultures represented in MCC here. The vision and values training brought all of those people together to share MCC's identity with them and to encourage them to reflect on how they relate to that. For many, portions of this were very challenging. My biggest challenge was that it was almost entirely in Bangla! With the help of a handy English outline of the events, I was able to follow the events but must lament that I didn't understand many of the nuances that happened in the many small group discussions. These were also very long days. A typical day would run from prayer at 8:30 in the morning until a Bangla film finished at 8pm. The first day, I had a horrible migraine by 4:30 in the afternoon as my brain overloaded on trying to process too much bangla. It was worth it in the end. I really enjoyed the conversations that were shared and look forward to going back over the bangla and adding it to my vocabulary permanently. I even got to hit a co-worker with a pot! (Meaning I accidentally hit her lightly on the shoulder during a skit about reconciliation which everyone found to be hilarious!) It was a long week but certainly a fun one.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Safety
So I've had a few people wondering about our safety here in regards to the recent news about Osama Bin Laden.
I'd first like to take a moment to ask American Christians why they are celebrating his death so wildly? I'm no biblical scholar but I'm pretty sure that when Jesus says, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." he doesn't mean that you should be celebrating wildly at their death. Might I suggest solemn reflection on the fact that we live in a world that has gotten so violent and what we do that perpetuates this? It might also be worth reflecting on the fact that those celebrations often times end up leading to more violence which is why I'm getting questions about safety.
I've never felt threatened by people in Bangladesh. There have been times that I have felt threatened and unsafe on the roads but that was from buses and trucks not people. Despite warnings from various people before I left the States about not trusting Muslims, I have found the primarily Muslim Bengali people to way more hospitable and friendly than even American people are. It is part of their culture which has existed since before Islam came to the area. That said, I've heard rumors that there are conservative Islamic elements in Bengali society. The rumors are that they are sent money from elements in the middle east for fundamentalist schools. I guess it is possible that these groups could eventually do something to me but I doubt they will. These groups are being carefully scrutinized by the current government here and I would guess they are much more likely to be angry with the government of Bangladesh than me. I was just told the other day that someone heard that the people in my neighborhood really like MCC and its employees.
That said, no one here has talked much with me about what happened. Even the Muslim staff used to joke about Al Qaeda and the menace they are. Bengali people are a typically very open and direct about things involving politics so I'm kind of surprised by this. I'm not sure what to make of it. I have a couple of theories though. One theory is that I just haven't been talking to people enough that the subject has come up. Another is that they are talking about it but not around me because they aren't sure what is appropriate to say. They seem to be treating the news fairly calmly and solemnly. Maybe that means that they have mixed feelings? I imagine his death as a Muslim at the hands of a tactical strike team leaves Muslim Bengalis with all sorts of things to debate. No one here seemed to like Osama Bin Laden before this went down but I don't get the impression that they are happy this went down.
I've received the warnings about higher levels of danger for Americans from the US Embassy here in Bangladesh but their emails typically read as if you'll die if you step out your front door in Bangladesh. That makes it hard to read if there is any real threat out there. I doubt it, but I certainly feel a small bit less safe than I did a few days ago.
I'd first like to take a moment to ask American Christians why they are celebrating his death so wildly? I'm no biblical scholar but I'm pretty sure that when Jesus says, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." he doesn't mean that you should be celebrating wildly at their death. Might I suggest solemn reflection on the fact that we live in a world that has gotten so violent and what we do that perpetuates this? It might also be worth reflecting on the fact that those celebrations often times end up leading to more violence which is why I'm getting questions about safety.
I've never felt threatened by people in Bangladesh. There have been times that I have felt threatened and unsafe on the roads but that was from buses and trucks not people. Despite warnings from various people before I left the States about not trusting Muslims, I have found the primarily Muslim Bengali people to way more hospitable and friendly than even American people are. It is part of their culture which has existed since before Islam came to the area. That said, I've heard rumors that there are conservative Islamic elements in Bengali society. The rumors are that they are sent money from elements in the middle east for fundamentalist schools. I guess it is possible that these groups could eventually do something to me but I doubt they will. These groups are being carefully scrutinized by the current government here and I would guess they are much more likely to be angry with the government of Bangladesh than me. I was just told the other day that someone heard that the people in my neighborhood really like MCC and its employees.
That said, no one here has talked much with me about what happened. Even the Muslim staff used to joke about Al Qaeda and the menace they are. Bengali people are a typically very open and direct about things involving politics so I'm kind of surprised by this. I'm not sure what to make of it. I have a couple of theories though. One theory is that I just haven't been talking to people enough that the subject has come up. Another is that they are talking about it but not around me because they aren't sure what is appropriate to say. They seem to be treating the news fairly calmly and solemnly. Maybe that means that they have mixed feelings? I imagine his death as a Muslim at the hands of a tactical strike team leaves Muslim Bengalis with all sorts of things to debate. No one here seemed to like Osama Bin Laden before this went down but I don't get the impression that they are happy this went down.
I've received the warnings about higher levels of danger for Americans from the US Embassy here in Bangladesh but their emails typically read as if you'll die if you step out your front door in Bangladesh. That makes it hard to read if there is any real threat out there. I doubt it, but I certainly feel a small bit less safe than I did a few days ago.
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